How I make clients love me by understanding their pain

"Know pain, get gain."

I spend a lot of your time solving clients' problems. I suspect you do too. It’s 80% of the job.

But these are just simply surface-level problems; the things that they tell you.

What they don't tell you is actually deeper than that.

It's their pain.

And when you start to solve their pain, you become almost untouchable in their eyes. You become something more than everyone else.

I made my clients love me when I started to understand their pain. And solve it for them. Now they ask for me. They want me to solve their real issues.

It seems like a superpower.

But I can teach you how to do the same.

Let’s dive in.

Understanding Pain Points: Practical Hacks

So, what's the best way to get to know what the pain points of your clients are? It's a bit awkward to ask them directly, but there are some hacks that you can use to get to the heart of the issue:

1. Ask "What happens if this doesn't get done?" This question reveals the consequences they're worried about. Instead of just hearing "I need this report," you'll discover "If this report isn't done, we can't secure funding for next quarter."

2. Use the "Five Whys" technique When they give you a request, gently ask "why" to dig deeper. For example:

• Client: "I need to hire someone."

• You: "Why is that important right now?"

• Client: "We're missing deadlines."

• You: "Why are deadlines being missed?"

• Client: "The team is burned out and making mistakes."

etc etc…

Now you've uncovered their real pain: team burnout and quality issues, not just a staffing gap.

3. Listen for emotional language Pay attention to words like "frustrated," "worried," "stressed," or "afraid." These are signposts pointing directly to pain. When someone says "I'm really stressed about this presentation," the pain isn't the presentation itself; it's what's riding on it.

4. Observe what they complain about repeatedly Repetition is a key indicator. If your client keeps mentioning the same issue across multiple conversations, that's a pain point. They may not explicitly ask you to solve it, but the repetition reveals what's weighing on them.

5. Ask about their boss's priorities Your bosses stresses you out. Theirs does too.

Try asking "What is your boss most concerned about right now?" or "What would make your boss think this project was a success?" This removes the personal element and makes it easier for them to open up about pressures they're facing.

6. Look for the gaps between what they say and what they do Focus on uncertainty. Fear is a good indicator of worry. If a client says something is urgent but keeps delaying decisions on it, there's a hidden pain point. Perhaps fear of making the wrong choice, or competing priorities they haven't articulated.

7. Frame it as helping them look good Ask questions like "What would make you a hero to your stakeholders?" or "What outcome would make this a huge win for you?" People are often more comfortable discussing aspirations than admitting vulnerabilities.

👋 I use ChatGPT to work faster, and keep my clients (and boss) happy.

So I made a guide to help. It’s called The Best ChatGPT Prompts for Project Managers but it might as well be called: How to Take the Stress out of Your Workday While Still Looking Like a Superstar. If you want the guide, click on this link. Let me know how much time it saves you (it will be lots).

What Happens When You Solve Pain Points

And what happens once you solve the pain points of your clients?

Well, obviously they love you for it. They rehire you for it. They think that you're the best person for the job. It's incredible the way you can amaze people by seeing through the surface level and trying to see deeper into what they're saying.

Why is this necessary? Because it may be uncomfortable for them. They may not feel that they can accurately describe their pain points. Describing their pain points may be embarrassing. It may be something that they've not been taught to do, or something that they're not allowed to do.

So use these hacks to try and find out exactly what their pain points are, and watch how your relationships transform when you consistently solve what really matters.

👋 Steal this:

Use these 10 questions to understand your client’s pain better. Print it out, stick it on your wall and keep it visible next time you’re on a client call.

Here are the top 10 questions to uncover your clients' pain points: