I made this for you. For us.

I wanted to make this because I know how hard you work and how hard it is to do your work. And I wanted you to know that I understand what you are feeling. Its so easy to feel like what you are doing doesn’t matter and that the projects are disasters and that no matter how much you try there is always another obstacle and you are going to look like a fool for not being able to fix it. Your boss doesn’t understand he just wants results and to spend money and to make money and he has pressures on him too. Phew!

Some advice… If I may.

Don't take your job too seriously. Like a golfer, you only need to focus on the shot right before you deliver it; try to relax the rest of the time. Try to keep work at work and home at home. I know it seems impossible; I also spend half my nights thinking about the stresses of the day. It's very irritating.

Understand that people have their own motivations. Most of what they say is not to do with you; it's their own views of the world, their own stories that they tell each other, their comments on how you dress and the way you talk, the hours you keep and the hobbies you participate in. They form their view in that way.

Keep your private life private. It's for you alone and those close to you. There is no better way to reduce your enjoyment than to have others involved in your private things. Keep that joy for yourself. If you don't enjoy certain people, don't give them access to the people that you do enjoy. Lean in to the 80/20. The 20% of people who bring you the most happiness. Make sure you tell them and speak to them and don't be shy about it. Try not to stress about the 20% who make you miserable.

Write often. Scribble notes in a journal or type in a private document. Don't worry so much about making it fancy. Write like you speak. To hell with punctuation and grammar; this is about your feelings. Nothing will help you understand yourself better than writing it down, often. Make it a habit. If you don't like typing or scribbling, speak it. Voice recognition is so great now; your phone will transform your words into text instantly.

Don't give up. I know it's difficult to know where you are going. The career path is uncertain and it seems to keep changing. You have survived 100% of your worst days so far.

Be intentional. It's your life; create it. Don’t just let it happen to you. Steer it in the direction you want. You won’t get it right all the time but that’s ok. Try again. The alternative is very very bad.

Life happens. Give yourself grace. You will get through it even though you don't feel like you will. You might make the wrong decision, but that's okay; there is actually no wrong decision. You will still move forward, so don't stress too much. Do what feels right to your heart.

Live in alignment with your core values. Write them down; the things you want to be and the things you value the most. Write down your core values; it's a great thing. Whenever you need to make a difficult decision ask yourself “What would align with my core values?”.

Your own goals matter. You can help other people while also helping yourself. You can give everything to a few while also giving everything to yourself. Fill your own cup and I promise you will have even more to give to others. To the 20%.

You’re doing ok

I know you are committed to doing the right things, creating the best projects you possibly can . And I know, you've got this.